I hear some version of this before almost every session.

“Just so you know, I’m really awkward in pictures.”

Sometimes it comes with a laugh.

Sometimes Mom points out the side of her face she likes better.

Sometimes she tells me she has no idea what to do with her hands.

And sometimes, if we’re being really truthful, “I’m awkward in pictures” isn’t actually what she means at all.

What she means is:

I don’t really like having my picture taken.

I don’t feel like myself in this body right now.

I don’t know how everyone else seems to look so natural.

I’m worried I’m going to spend all this money and love everyone in the photographs except me.

That last one?

That’s a big one.

So before your next family, maternity, or motherhood session, there’s something I really want you to know.

You are not supposed to know how to do this.

Being Photogenic Isn’t Your Job

Somehow we’ve started believing that being “good in photographs” is something certain people naturally know how to do.

They know where to put their hands.

They know their angles.

They somehow know exactly what to do with their chin.

And the rest of us apparently missed that class.

But when you see a photograph of one of my clients looking relaxed, confident, and completely natural, you’re only seeing the finished photograph.

You’re not hearing everything happening on my side of the camera.

You Don’t Have to Practice Before Your Family Photos

You don’t need to stand in front of a mirror and figure out your “good side.”

You don’t need to spend three weeks practicing poses you found online.

You don’t need to know what to do with your hands.

You don’t even need to know how to stand.

Actually, I’d rather you didn’t think about most of it.

Because while you’re worrying about whether your arm looks right, you’re missing your daughter laughing beside you.

While you’re trying to remember where someone on Instagram told you to put your chin, your little boy is reaching for your hand.

That’s not how I want you experiencing your family photographs.

I want you in them.

So I’ll worry about the rest.

I’ll pay attention to your posture.

I’ll watch your angles.

I’ll make the little adjustments that flatter you.

I’ll tell you where to put your hands.

I’ll tell you when something isn’t working.

And I promise I’m not going to stand ten feet away silently hoping you magically figure it out.

This is what Beautifully Guided™ means to me.

You aren’t expected to know.

You’re expected to show up.

I’m the one who needs to know.

“But I Need to Lose a Little Weight First.”

You Are Allowed to Want to Look Beautiful, Too

I think there’s an important balance here.

Because sometimes conversations about motherhood photography swing so far toward:

“Your kids don’t care what you look like!”

that we accidentally dismiss something very real.

You care.

And that’s okay.

You are allowed to want photographs where you look beautiful.

You are allowed to want to feel confident.

You are allowed to care about flattering angles and beautiful clothing and gorgeous light.

You are allowed to look at a photograph of yourself and think:

Oh my gosh. I love that.

I want that for you.

That’s why I don’t believe the answer to insecurity is simply telling women not to care what they look like.

The answer is creating an experience where you feel taken care of enough that you don’t have to obsess over it.

Thoughtful styling matters.

Lighting matters.

Posing matters.

Direction matters.

Experience matters.

Those are things I should be thinking about so that you don’t have to spend the entire session thinking about yourself.

Because something changes when that happens.

You relax.

And that’s usually when I get to see you.

Confidence Usually Comes After We Start

Here’s something I wish more women knew before their session:

You don’t have to arrive confident.

That’s not a prerequisite.

The first few minutes might feel unfamiliar.

Of course they do.

There’s a camera pointed at you.

But then we start talking.

I give you something to do.

Your husband says something ridiculous.

Your child interrupts whatever I had planned.

You laugh.

Your shoulders drop.

You stop wondering where you’re supposed to look every three seconds.

And somewhere along the way, you realize:

Oh. I can do this.

That’s the transformation I love watching.

Not because I’ve suddenly turned someone into a different woman.

It’s actually the opposite.

She stops thinking so much about how she looks and starts being herself.

That’s the woman I was waiting for.

Your Children Need Photographs of the Way You Loved Them

You Don’t Have to Be Good at Pictures

So if you’ve been avoiding family photos because you’re “awkward,” I want to take that responsibility away from you.

You don’t have to be photogenic.

You don’t have to know your angles.

You don’t have to know how to pose.

You don’t have to arrive overflowing with confidence.

And you don’t have to spend the entire session trying to make yourself look beautiful.

That’s what the guidance is for.

Come as you are.

Let me pay attention to the things you shouldn’t have to think about.

Let your children climb into your arms.

Let your husband make you laugh.

Let yourself forget about the camera every once in a while.

And let me show you what I can see from this side of it.

Because the goal isn’t to photograph a perfectly posed version of you.

It’s to create something beautiful from the life you’re already living.

Your children are going to want proof that you were there, too.

So, Mom—get in the photograph.

I’ll tell you what to do with your hands.