Almost every mom worries about it.

Sometimes she tells me before the session.

Sometimes I can see it happening in real time.

Her toddler has suddenly decided shoes are offensive. Her five-year-old has discovered a stick that is apparently far more interesting than anything I could possibly offer. Someone doesn’t want to stand where we’re standing. Dad is trying to help. Mom is starting to get that look on her face.

And then come the words:

“I’m so sorry.”

I hear that more often than you would think.

And every time, I want to tell her the same thing:

You don’t need to apologize to me for your children being children.

In fact, I was expecting it.

Your Children Are Not Supposed to Be Good at Family Photos

Meanwhile, there’s a field to explore, rocks to pick up, bugs to investigate and approximately 400 other things happening that are more interesting than looking at my camera.

Of course they want to move.

That’s why I don’t build my sessions around children behaving perfectly.

I build them around letting children be who they are.

If your toddler wants to run, we can move.

If your child needs a minute before warming up to me, I’ll give them one.

If siblings start being silly together, I’m probably going to keep photographing instead of stopping them.

And if your two-year-old has absolutely no intention of sitting perfectly beside you and smiling at my camera?

Good.

Because I have other ideas.

The Goal Isn’t Cooperation

This might surprise you.

My goal during a family photography session isn’t to get your children to cooperate with me.

It’s to connect with them.

Those are two very different things.

When a child feels like every adult around them desperately needs them to perform, the pressure builds quickly.

Mom starts negotiating.

Dad starts directing.

Everyone starts saying the child’s name.

And suddenly this little person realizes that apparently something VERY IMPORTANT is supposed to be happening.

That’s usually when things get harder.

So instead, I play.

We move.

We give them something to do.

Sometimes I give children tiny jobs. Sometimes we make something into a game. Sometimes I let them think the idea was entirely theirs.

And sometimes I simply wait.

Because after photographing families and children for years, I’ve learned something:

The moment everyone stops trying so hard to create the perfect photograph is often the moment something beautiful happens.

Mom, You Don’t Have to Manage the Session

But What About the Beautiful Portrait?

We are still going to get it.

I love a gorgeous family portrait.

I love beautiful light, thoughtful styling, flattering posing and creating something that deserves to live large on the walls of your home.

Being relaxed doesn’t mean being unintentional.

There is a lot happening behind the scenes during one of my sessions.

I’m paying attention to how your body is positioned.

I’m adjusting little details.

I’m creating connection.

I’m watching composition.

I’m directing when we need direction and backing away when something real is unfolding in front of me.

That’s the difference.

You shouldn’t have to work hard to make the photograph look effortless.

I do the work so you can experience it that way.

That’s the certainty I want every family to have before they ever arrive.

Your Child’s Personality Is Part of the Story

There’s another reason I don’t want perfectly behaved children.

Because twenty years from now, perfection isn’t what you’re going to miss.

You’re going to miss them.

The child who couldn’t stand still.

The daughter who wanted to wear the same shoes everywhere.

The little boy who made that ridiculous face every time someone asked him to smile.

The siblings who couldn’t be beside each other for thirty seconds without touching.

The toddler who wanted Mom and absolutely nobody else.

Right now, some of those things can feel exhausting.

Someday, they’re going to be the details that bring you right back here.

Children change so quietly.

When you see them every day, you don’t always notice it happening.

Then one day you find an old photograph and suddenly realize their face is different.

Their hands aren’t that tiny anymore.

Their baby teeth are gone.

They don’t fit against your chest the same way.

That little personality you thought might drive you crazy?

It grew up.

That’s why I don’t want to photograph some polished version of your family that only existed for the camera.

I want to create something beautiful without removing the people from it.

The Photograph You Think You Want Might Not Be Your Favorite

Bring Me Your Real Family

So if you’ve been putting off family photos because your toddler is wild…

Bring me the toddler.

If your children aren’t good at smiling on command…

Perfect.

If your husband tells you he’s awkward in photographs…

I’ve heard that one before, too.

If you’re worried about your body, don’t know how to pose, aren’t sure what everyone should wear or feel like your family simply isn’t one of those effortlessly photogenic families you see online…

You don’t have to figure all of that out before you’re worthy of being photographed.

That’s what I’m here for.

Bring me the noise.

Bring me the movement.

Bring me the child who needs a snack five minutes after we start.

Bring me the belly laughs, the shy one, the spirited one, the snuggler, the runner and the kid who absolutely has their own plan for how this evening is going to go.

We’ll work with all of it.

Because years from now, I don’t think you’re going to look at these photographs and wonder whether everyone behaved.

You’re going to look at them and remember how small your children were.

You’ll remember the way they fit against you.

You’ll see their personalities written all over their faces.

And you’ll have something beautiful that proves this version of your family existed.

Your family doesn’t need to be perfect to be photographed beautifully.

They just need to be yours.

I’ll take care of the rest.